Deep thoughts on a frosty morning

I can't recall when it happened but there was a moment when the thought entered my mind and cemented itself deep within like a pillar of stone refusing to move. I tried to dismiss it, walk around it and even push it aside but there was no denying the obvious. I'm talking about the moment I knew that the level I had worked for and tried to attain for so many years just didn't fit. It wasn't me. It was difficult and even a little bit painful but I had to admit that I was not the super woman I pretended to be. 

       From a very young age we are told that we can do and have it all. We can balance everything in life, the family, the career, the good, the bad and even the ugly with ease. I told myself this and even pleaded with myself to stay a working woman who was finally making her way up the ladder. I was too embarrassed to admit that I didn't want to be making my way up the ladder. The truth was I didn't want to be on that ladder at all. It took some time but eventually I admitted to myself and then to others that I wanted to leave my job. I needed time to spend with my family and reconnect with myself. Admittance came first but the letting go was key. I had to let go of the notion that I had made it and let go of the money that came along with. 

That step is behind me now and I am looking forward to time with the people I love, time to create and time to just breath. As I look out across the frosty lawn in my toasty slippers and worn out sweatshirt not fit for the public eye I take a deep breath and head for the Keurig for another cuppa. There is something about the crisp air and magic of morning light dancing across the floor that puts me in a dreamy state and gives way to a moment of reflection. Ahhhh...... So glad to be here!